I’ve got a case of The Mean Grumps today. Do you ever feel that way? Like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed … wrong side of your brain … wrong side of the world … wrong side of the universe … wrong side of life … wrong side of EVERYTHING.
That’s me today. I am locked down tight into a funk. I woke up this morning feeling discontent and dissatisfied and discombobulated. I am unhappy being myself. I am unhappy being out of bed. I am unhappy being in bed. I am just … unhappy. And grumpy. And I don’t know why.
Our weather is cloudy and spittin’, as we say in Texas. “Spittin'” means that it is raining, alternating between a little bit and a lotta bit. The sky is gray, and the sun is hiding. For most people, it might be easy to pinpoint the weather as the source of their doldrums. Not for me, though. I like gray and rainy weather. I wish it was a little colder, but, other than that, this is the kind of day I enjoy.
So … why the awful, terrible, no-good mood? I don’t know. I’ve been thinking on it ever since I woke up and realized this was not going to be a happy day for me. And I have come to no conclusions, other than deciding I am not in the mood for introspection. That makes it a fabulous time to write a blog post, doesn’t it?
Maybe I’m tired. I know I’ve been talking about it a lot in here, but this move has been dragging on and on and on. From last April, when we first came to look at houses in our new town … through the end of that month and on into the beginning of June, when I was dealing with fixing, staging, and selling our house … through the middle and end of June, when I was dealing with packing up the rest of our belongings and traveling to our new state … and right up until now, when I am still dealing with all the unpacking. I feel worn out just thinking about it. I’m not proud of this, but the truth is that I would like to ignore all of it. Not for forever, but for a good, long while. And yet, that is not possible. I feel like I have been “moving” for a thousand years, and I have yet to get to the reward of actually “nesting” in my new house. I’m ready to nest. I’m ready to be done. I’m ready to feel at home.
But I’m certain the moving funk isn’t the only source of my grumbles today. It’s just part of it all. Where the rest is coming from, I don’t know. But I do know I need to take a deep breath and chill out, for my own sanity. My poor husband has already retreated into the basement, after trying (very unsuccessfully, I might add) to have a normal conversation with me. The man has his faults, as do we all. But, mostly, he is a saint. I don’t deserve him. And I will tell him that — but probably not today.
So, yeah. I’m in A Mood today. If you are out there, and you happen to cross my path …
You’ve been warned!!