Internet Gone Wrong

Last night, I stumbled a bit on the Internet and fell down the wrong rabbit hole. Have you ever seen something you wish, desperately, you hadn’t? That is just what happened to me. I saw a picture of someone smiling after committing an act that was, in my opinion, unspeakably cruel. The smile on this person’s face … the pride and joy at their “accomplishment” shining from their eyes … their joking words, which seemed to belittle what they had done, or, even, find humor in it. Every little bit of it was terrible and awful, and I wish I had never clicked the link. I didn’t go looking for this picture. I clicked a link to what I thought was a news story, but, even so, the picture found me.

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Do you ever find yourself going along your merry way and thinking that, maybe, the world isn’t such a terrible place? I’m a fairly positive person. I tend to look on the bright side of things and count all the little, beautiful blessings in my life. I like to look at the world in wonder at the tiny miracles that are all around us. At the beauty and the grace of it all. And I find myself thinking, “Hey, this world isn’t so bad. It’s actually quite lovely in spots.”

But then, something smashes right up against my psyche with all the tact and force of a speeding Mack truck, and I am reminded that meanness and cruelty and brutal ugliness abound in the world around me. It becomes harder to see the blessings, and the miracles seem to become even smaller, until I feel they can never possibly outweigh the bad things that are out there. That picture was a Mack truck to my mind. I think my soul died, just a little bit, upon seeing it. I wish I could bleach the image from my brain, but I can’t. It’s in there. Forever.

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I feel … sad. And small. And woefully inadequate to face the world today. I feel even more inadequate at the thought that, somehow, I have to guide my own child through a world filled with hate and meanness and the type of cruelty that eats away at our humanity, bit by bit. I wish I could tell myself to forget the whole thing and just crawl back into bed to hide away under the covers all day. It feels safe there.

But I can’t hide away. The world is out there, waiting for me to try and do my own part, small as it is, to make it a better place. The world is out there, full of terrible, awful, horrible, no-good things and people. But it’s also full of beauty. It’s full of grace and love and the kind of tiny miracles that take my breath away each and every day.

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And so, I will still feel sad. But I will fill my mind with flowers and love and joy so that the terrible thing I saw might, one day, fade a little. I will remind myself that cruelty might exist, but that it doesn’t have to exist within me. I will live. I will love. I will do my best. Because that’s all I have, and because it’s enough.

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15 thoughts on “Internet Gone Wrong

  1. I usually come across these sort of things on Facebook when I do. (On another note it is the fastest way a person on my friendslist to find themselves unfriended). You should continue to have your positive attitude and look at this instance as a blessing. (I know it’s difficult) however think about it. The reason why you felt so repulsed and taken back by it is because it is NOT the norm. Seeing tragedies and wrong doings is not the everyday occurrence, otherwise it wouldn’t affect you.

    If you think about those that live in the most poverty stricken places for instance; you will find that on their level some are actually happy because they don’t have anything to compare their life to. It’s what they’ve always known so to them they may not necessarily feel poor. Sure, there are obvious moments where they’re unhappy for instance, when they are hungry or a parent is frustrated because they cannot provide food for their children or help them when they are sick. However, when a helping hand comes along can you imagine how grateful and happy they are when they do?

    Be repulsed. React and do something about it or just let it go. Don’t let the horrible things that happen in life handicap you – it’s just part of life.

    http://citadelofthoughts.com

    • Hi! Thanks for your insightful and kind comment. I appreciate it. And I agree with you: the “yuck” out there isn’t the norm. This is a good thing. Thanks for your help in turning a negative into a positive! πŸ™‚

  2. Beutiful pat. I’m so sorry you had to see that but pretending it doesn’t exist doesn’t mean it doesn’t. I love your attitude, it is very admirable. As a parent, we can change the world by raising kind, caring, sensitive kids that will make the world a better place πŸ˜‰

  3. oh Pish, Yes I relate, I’ve fallen into that same wormhole too. I wish for you that the memory fades soon. It’s a world of such extremes and the web is a microcosm, isn’t it. Bring more beauty and lovlieness to redress the balance. *Hugs* X

    • Thanks so much for your kind and supportive words. I do hope the image fades quickly, as it is not something I particularly want to carry around with me. I agree that the world is full of extremes, and that most of those (good and bad) seem to really come out on the internet. You are definitely doing your part to bring beauty and loveliness through your amazing artwork!

  4. You seem to be such a sensitive soul, Pish. Even that has its upside and down. As a sensitive person, you are more aware than the average and you have more to give. But also, as a sensitive soul, you are easily hurt and terrible things cut you to the quick. In addition, like a vehicle going at 100 mph, when it hits a bump in the road, it spins out of control faster than a car going only 30 mph–so does an evolved soul hit the dirt faster if they allow negativity to “get” them, more than an unevolved soul who is unaware of the laws of the universe.

    One of the things I am learning is to look at the universe’s balance sheet. Like attracts like in the realm of the soul. The more positive and loving I am, the more positivity and love I will attract. It’s not always easy when I feel like smashing things or ripping out the heart of someone who is, say, abusing a dog. But the universe insists its laws be followed or pay the consequence.

    I love your writing and, because of it, I am going to follow it πŸ™‚

    • Hi, Sandra! Thanks so much for your beautiful, thoughtful, and kind comment. My parents tried, for years, to convince me to be less sensitive … but, of course, it didn’t work. And you are right: It’s a double-edged sword. But I agree with you that we have to keep on doing our best to put positivity and kindness out there. The world needs it. Thanks so much for reading and for following along, too! I hope to start posting a bit more over the next week, as our summer activities start to slow down a little bit. πŸ™‚

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