Is not my day. At all.
Let’s forget the fact that it’s Monday. Monday is never the best way to start off a week, particularly when one has had a really nice weekend. When your weekend was nice and filled with fun, Monday morning comes as too much of a shock. The rudest awakening possible.
But, even for a Monday, today has been particularly sucky. My morning started out with fun and games. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I stumbled out of bed running on about three hours of sleep. Needless to say, my brain was not functioning at its best this morning. I shuffled into the upstairs hallway to do my morning duty of cleaning the cat box. (This is also my mid-morning duty, early afternoon duty, late afternoon duty, early evening duty, and just-before-bed duty. Also, if you say the word “duty” a lot of times in your mind, your brain starts to giggle. I think this is an involuntary reaction.) Unbeknownst to me, my cat decided to have some sort of sicko party in the hallway last night. So there was litter all over the floor in the hall, most of which had turned into a mushy sort of mud within a gigantic puddle of cat pee. Of course, the existence of said cat pee puddle didn’t register in my half-awake brain until I was standing in the middle of it. Sigh. Seriously, nothing says “Hello, Monday!” like a giant puddle of cat pee.
So I cleaned up kitty’s “gifts”. This required a good deal of time on my hands and knees, scrubbing with the industrial-strength urine cleaner. I cleaned off my slippers — the soft, suede-ish, lambswool ones from LL Bean, so, yeah, those are never going to be the same. I replaced the pee pad in front of the litter box, all the while grumbling to myself about how that had done a fat lot of good last night. And then I wandered off to get dressed.
I had this uneasy feeling of foreboding. After all, this is Monday. And I was cleaning up cat pee first thing in the morning. Was this a sign of how the rest of my week was going to go? Let me tell you: This is not a good feeling. At all.
I told myself to shake it off. After all, I was tired from not getting enough sleep. And today is the day my cleaning ladies were coming. My cleaning ladies come every other week, and their scheduled day is like a little holiday of happiness for me. I look forward to it all week long. Or, well, all week and another week. But that doesn’t sound nearly as good, does it? Anyhow, the point is that I told myself things would get better. Cat pee in the early AM doesn’t have to set the tone for the whole day.
Except, possibly, it does. Because I went downstairs to discover the leak we thought had been fixed was, in fact, not. And my whole living room smells musty and mildewy because of the hard rains we had a couple of days ago. And my dogs tracked mud all over the carpets. And then my phone battery went dead and took forever to recharge. Actually, it’s still charging. And then, when I came home with lunch for my cleaning ladies and went upstairs to tell them the food was here, one of them told me there had been a huge puddle of cat pee under my desk, too. So I guess kitty’s party extended into the office last night, as well. But, of course, I hadn’t gone in there this morning. I had been running late due to cleaning up the mess in the hallway. And then my cleaning lady told me not to worry: that she had cleaned it all up. And I felt extremely embarrassed, like one of those elderly women who get filmed on A&E hoarding animals or something and wonder, out loud on the show, how things got so out of hand. And then something in my lunch didn’t agree with me, which was … well, gross and not fun. And then my brand new keyboard refused to turn on or hook up to my computer.
So, you know what, Monday? I hate you. You suck chunks. And I am done.
Tomorrow is another day. I remain unsure if this is inspirational wisdom or a cosmic threat. At the moment, it’s a toss-up.