And Then … I Paused

We had our first “snow day” today. I suppose it’s really more of a snow/sleet/freezing rain kind of day, but whatever. Snow fell out of the sky, so, for this winter junkie, it totally counts!

I get stupidly excited about snow. I’m not sure why, but it seems to grab hold of that little kid who lives deep down inside of me somewhere. I usually keep her hidden, but snowy days drag her out into the light, where she promptly starts squealing in excitement and dreaming of making snowmen.

My truck  yard light, covered in the first snow of the winter. Dec. 8, 2013

 

I suppose it’s terribly cliche of me, but I think the thing I like most about the snow is how quiet it is. I love to watch the flakes fall from the sky, drifting and twisting on the slightest breeze. They seem so fragile and delicate, and, yet, they obliterate everything in their path, turning even the most rank and disgusting things into something new and beautiful. A surreal landscape decorated with the winking sparkle of nature’s diamonds.

There is something peaceful about it. So often, life is too much. It’s too busy, and it moves too quickly. It’s full of people who are grumpy and rude, or, even, just plain cruel. It seems we are all crammed up against each other and all fighting, tooth and nail, for the same little tidbits life tosses at us. We all want the same parking space … or the last item on the shelf … or to be first in line … or to get home faster than anyone around us … or to make sure we’re the ones the world notices, that everyone knows we are the ones who count. We scratch and claw and honk and spit at each other, until life comes to resemble one of those ridiculous Black Friday videos that go viral, showing two ridiculous people punching each other over who should get the cheapest crappy TV set.

My neighbor's rose, covered in the first snow of the winter. Dec. 8, 2013

I often feel overwhelmed by life and by this place where I live. I long for a quieter, simpler life — perhaps in a smaller town — and I find myself ending most days feeling a bit shell-shocked and beaten up by those around me. But, as the first snowflakes tumble to earth, I hold my breath in anticipation. It feels like, all around me, the entire world does the same, as if my universe decided, just at that moment, to step off the tilt-a-whirl for a little while. The very air around me feels heavy with expectation and the deliciously painful struggle of waiting for the change that, soon, will come.

I stand at my window and watch as the familiar view in front of my house shifts and changes. The curbing around the flower beds disappears. The metal bird beneath my cherry tree becomes some new and mysterious beast. My beloved roses go into hiding beneath a blanket of fluffy white.

I listen as the sounds change, too. The rumble of the train deepens as it rolls over tracks laden with snow. The sounds of people honking at each other on the highway seem more distant, and I can even begin to believe they no longer exist. The sounds of traffic on the street in front of my house fades away, replaced by the quietly comforting shush of tires against a snowy street.

my azalea bush, covered in the first snow of winter. dec. 8, 2013Tomorrow will probably bring a return to normality. It might herald the pressing rush of trying to accomplish all the things I didn’t manage to do today, as well as all the things I am supposed to do tomorrow. It might bring with it gray skies full of rain, a muddy yard, and the smell of wet dog all over my house. And that’s all right. I suppose tomorrow is going to have to take care of itself.

For today, there is peace. And quiet. And space to breathe. And that’s enough.

 

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6 thoughts on “And Then … I Paused

  1. I have just returned from braving our own elements. Hot with pouring rain. Your post made me take a deep breath. I find I am getter better and better at letting go of outcomes. I have only ever seen snow twice but your post reminded me of an old American comic (I still have) in which the snow falls over a polluted area and turns everything to a magical white kind of fairy land and every one feels happy and they share. πŸ™‚

    • I much prefer cold and snow (or even freezing rain) to hot and rainy. I’m definitely one of those folks who gravitate toward colder temperatures, even though I was born and raised in South Texas … with a little sojourn into Louisiana. πŸ™‚

      I think it’s hard to let go of outcomes. I struggle with that, too. There are many days when the whole idea of what an outcome might be … or the realization that I can’t control stuff around me … can take control and toss my entire psyche off the rails.

      I love the idea of everyone becoming happy and sharing because of the beauty found in the snow, or the way it changes the ugly into something much nicer. Sadly, I don’t think people around here are going to hop onto the sharing train any time soon, but we can hope, right?

      Thanks, as always, for taking the time to stop by and read. And for your lovely comment. πŸ™‚

    • And a big “wow” again! Thank you so so much. I appreciate your visit to my little blog, and I hope you will continue to enjoy my posts, which can sometimes be a bit here and there. Life tends to get in the way. >.O

      Personally, I think you are amazing!! Your lovely and kind comments have greatly lifted up a day that started out on a bit of a wrong foot. Thank you for that. πŸ™‚

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