To Whom It May Concern:

Dear Parking Lot Hog,

Yes, I’m talking to you, person who pulled right into the space next to me, shoving your car grossly over the line separating our spaces until your car and mine were touching noses. Really now, are you in that much of a hurry? Are you incapable of seeing how badly you have parked? Or is it that you just don’t care about the fact that, due to your crappy parking, I will barely be able to exit the space I am occupying.  If you are in such a hurry that you can’t be bothered to park properly, I would respectfully suggest you not sacrifice your precious time by going to the grocery store / ice cream shop / restaurant / clothing store which this parking lot serves. None of us would be offended if you decided to take your presence elsewhere in order to attend to the pressing business that, apparently, has you so flustered. If you genuinely can’t see and, thus, are unaware of the utter mess you’ve made of your parking attempt, you might want to think about taking public transportation in the future. I am not sure the road is safe with you on it. However, if — as I suspect — you just can’t be bothered to take the couple of seconds necessary to straighten out your car, it would behoove you to pull your head out of your butt and look around you. You are not the only person in the world. You aren’t even the only person in this parking lot. We’re all in this together, and life would be so much nicer if we all attempted to get along.

And you, gentle person who willy-nilly decided to straddle the parking space lines — thus taking up two spaces in an already-crowded lot — don’t think I have forgotten you. Perhaps it seems like a small thing, but your one thoughtless act has inconvenienced every person who comes into this lot behind you, until you finally decide to do all of us a favor by leaving. You have made each of their days a little bit the worse for wear. Congratulations. You must be very proud of your accomplishment.

As for you, person who MUST have my parking space, I am not sure if you realize this or not, but I need to exit the space before you can ram your oversized vehicle into it. I am no physics expert, but I am pretty sure two cars cannot, in fact, occupy the same space at the same time. I realize it is stressful and a bit frightening to find the entire parking level occupied. After all, if you have to circle the lot one more time or — even worse! — travel to another level to park, your head might explode. That would be unpleasant and messy for everyone. I am not unsympathetic, but you were the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back of my patience this morning. Once I had convinced you to move your car enough so that I could exit my parking space, I am ashamed to admit I drove away thinking pleasant thoughts of whopping  you over the head with a two-by-four.

The thing is, I am not that person. Unlike all of you, I fully realize I am not the only human in existence in this world. I even realize I am not the most important person around — no matter how many times my mother might have told me otherwise. I managed to get through grade school and even middle and high school, so I learned, a long time ago, that we all have to share. I will not let you ruin my day, no matter how determined you seem to be to do just that.

And so, I shall take a deep breath and seek inner peace by thinking of things that bring me happiness.

Like a cute turtle with a cherry blossom on its head (and back):

cherry blossom turtle: meadowlark botanical gardensOr a busy bee, humming to himself as he searches out the sweetest flowers:

bee and purple flower: meadowlark botanical gardensOr cherry blossoms, which haven’t yet been blown away by the wind:

cherry blossoms: meadowlark botanical gardensOr bright blue beads in the springtime sunshine:

beads in a pot of cactus: meadowlark botanical gardensWith that task completed, I shall take a deep breath … ask forgiveness for my uncharitable thoughts … and go about my merry way.

With love and kindness,







17 thoughts on “To Whom It May Concern:

  1. . . . or you can have some pre-written cards in your car and place one under the windscreen wiper of the offending vehicle. They might say: ‘Does your car really need two spaces? Asshole.’ – the last word is not mandatory but it depends on how bad a day you are having, so have one card with and one without the word.

    We have such car parkers in England.

    • You know, although I wouldn’t wish the parking hogs on anyone, I am glad to find out they are around in other countries, too. I was afraid it might be a “United States” kind of problem, given how self-centered many people are today in this country.

      I like the idea of leaving a note. (Perhaps a not-so-nice one, at that! Ha!) With my luck, I would probably get caught putting it on the car, though, and then have to run for my life. LOL

      • America is special in many ways but not this – you have to share these people with us over the pond.

        Did you receive the cd meditation message I sent? If not it’s here again:

        Just a thought on the Buddhist meditation.
        Here is a link to a site whose meditations I used to attend:
        and here is a link to the meditation CD’s –

        I can recommend both: ‘Meditations for a Clear Mind’ and ‘Meditationd for Relaxation’. This second one is the one I prefer – not that I use it much!

        If you are interested and having problems sorting it out at your end I am sure I could sort it from here.

        NOT trying to convert you. I am not a Buddhist and haven’t attended any meditaion lessons for a couple of years. Just that it may help to find your little bit of tranquility.

      • Thanks for repeating the information in your comment. I don’t think I got a message, although I might have and just not realized it. I hate to admit it, but WordPress still baffles me at times.

        I may try some meditation. It certainly couldn’t hurt, and might help me get to a place where I can clear my mind enough to think. That is, if I can manage to sneak away somewhere quiet so that the dogs don’t interrupt things. Silly dogs.

        I would gladly send you guys all of our “poor parkers”. Or, better yet, perhaps we should all decide to dump them into the ocean or something. Ha! 😀

    • I would put this on his windscreen instead: ” Did you know I saw someone put a really nasty note on your car about your piss poor parking. So I took it down and put this one up instead: ” I think a 5th grader could park better than you.”

  2. Oh my gosh! This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I always make a point of parking way out in left field so my car doesn’t get dinged. It never fails, when I come out of the store, some moron in a HUGE SUV or HUGE pickup truck is parked right up against my car and there are empty spots all around!!!! Ughhhh! Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. 🙂

    • Parking lots are the most irritating places. I drive an SUV, although it’s not a huge one. Even so, I am super careful about my doors to make sure they do not hit or ding any cars around me. I can’t say that others have returned my courtesy, though, as my doors are full of dings and paint chips. Bleh.

      Thanks for reading, as always! 🙂

  3. Since I work at a retail store, I get to see all kinds of inconsiderate parking situations. Here’s one you can add to the list… the customer who has no time to waddle their shopping cart 50 feet to the cart corral so that it will not be sitting there in the open waiting to ding another unsuspecting car. Even worse, the people who use the motorized scooters will leave them in the lot… oftentimes in the middle of another parking space. They had to limp their oversized asses into the store to get the scooters, but aren’t about to leave them where they found them, but get a free ride back to their car and just ditch them. I’d need to mass produce those “Asshole Cards” to take care of all the idiots I see in our lot…

    • Oh gosh! I can’t even imagine having to work at a retail store every day. The parking lot, alone, would be enough to send me home crying for my mama.

      I am amazed at how lazy and selfish people can be. It shouldn’t surprise me any more, but it still does. Sometimes, all I can do is shake my head and walk away feeling puzzled over it all.

      You totally should mass produce the “bad parking” cards. That would be hilarious!

  4. I’ve just found this blog, wonderful writing! I too have a pet peeve of these kind of drivers. It happens way too often in Canada also! Some people are so rude! Keep writing, I like it!

    • Hi! Thank you for the kind words, and I am very happy you found my blog. 🙂

      It seems the parking hogs are everywhere, which makes me sad. I would love to think that, somewhere out there, there’s a place where people are kind and considerate to each other.

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